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Bozeman, Montana 12/98

Big Sky Resort

A view from Lone Mountain, looking down a steep trail.  Bonzai! Craig, Gene, and the Pat McCurdy T-Shirt Gene flirting with a cold, windy death Hey Rudy, ski close and I'll get an action shot Craig never wore a hat or goggles - whatta dude Great view of Lone Mountain from the condo Looking out from Lone Mountain

The following is a list of exercises to prepare your body for ski season

  1. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
  2. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
  3. Throw a $100 bill away right now.
  4. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
  5. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
  6. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
  7. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
  8. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
  9. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
  10. Drive slowly for five hours -- anywhere -- as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
  11. Fill a blender with ice, hit the "Pulse" button, and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
  12. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
  13. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
  14. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the hills to open.

Credit for this list goes to Dave Berry, I believe

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Last updated: 3 Apr 2006, 8:42 am